Spaghetti Squash

"Tomatoes and squash never fail to reach maturity. You can spray them with acid, beat them with sticks and burn them; they love it." - SJ Perelman

"Tomatoes and squash never fail to reach maturity. You can spray them with acid, beat them with sticks and burn them; they love it." - SJ Perelman

The arrival of the spaghetti squash in the modern diet is a miracle as great as any attributed to the saints. But I doubt you have thought about this recently. I’d ask you, the ungrateful consumer, to just consider all the places where the development and discovery of the spaghetti squash could have erred. The knowledge of the spaghetti squash is not like the discovery of gravity, which is a law of the universe. There was never any promise from the world that the spaghetti squash would exist. And yet it does.

Firstly, God had to anticipate the invention of Spaghetti, (or any noodles at all would have done). Then, he had to create a plant that exactly mirrors the fruit of one of humanity’s greatest inventions, frontrunning it by some thousands of years. Then, Europeans had to sail across a brutal ocean, find the squash somewhere in the Americas, and save it from all blights to bring it to our plates. The highest human efforts toward beauty and creativity can never equal even the throwaway works of god and nature.

The squash can be served plain (perhaps with some salt or light spices) for a healthy and filling meal, supplying enough energy for a day. One can fill it with heavier sauces, meats, or other fillings to create a heartier meal. For couples, one squash provides the perfect portion for two. One can see the work of an intelligent designer in that alone. The noodling of its flesh creates a tactile eating experience that’s fun in the way only rolling around peas on the tongue can replicate.

Ask an American if they have had a spaghetti squash recently and they are as likely as not to say no. It does not possess the role it deserves in the American diet. It has been denigrated and overlooked Perhaps because they do not have the marketing budget behind them that a Doritos or Taco Bell do. We cannot hope for the funding situation to change very soon, so it’s imperative we all do our part to spread the good word.

The squash are apparently very easy to grow (see SJ Perelman above), and one can start in a pot on the porch, or on the deck. I may try it this summer, if not my grocery store sells them. They have a natural growing season, planted after the last frost and harvested for the first, but these hard workers belong on plates the whole year-round. They’re a winter squash, and that alone credentials them for a spot on cold dark evenings. They’re the rare vegetable (like carrots or salads), which we also have occasion to eat in the summertime.

It’s easy to be distracted by woes and calamities like tariffs, a flailing economy, a shitty boss, the rise of political polarization, that all seem to signal a rise in the tide of hatred for fellow humans nowadays. Spaghetti Squash have seen the problems of man since long before Christ, they have seen world wars, plagues, and destruction of empires. They persist, asking very little in return, supplying us with the virtues of nature.